Human Bridges Are Not a Good Idea

Sophomore year Theatre we were instructed to perform an exercise. (Team building exercises never go well.)

Two chairs were set up and each team had a build a human bridge connecting them for a person to walk over. It's hard to imagine, but the finished "human bridge" looks like some sort of odd, sexual-tetris game.

Of course being the lightest student, I was chosen to embark on the trek over people. This was unfortunate for me being so anti-touching, but I bravely put aside my urge to hide in a corner and accepted the quest.

The human bridge was constructed and I stood about to take my first step.

I'm not really sure what I was thinking at the time; I just wanted to get across and forget my feet ever touched humans.

But I took my first step. Instead of aiming for the guy's back though, my foot went for his legs...and my foot being crazy thin, slipped right in and my entire leg fell in between his. And we were stuck... scissoring for like 4 seconds.

The poor guy (whom I knew from my Spanish class) was facing downwards too, so the surprise slip of my leg in between his really freaked him out.

And it wasn't like my leg fell in close to his knees--I was UP in his crotch. Touching him.

You have to take note that any previous male interaction was UNHEARD OF and this entire experience made me seriously embarrassed.

When we "disassembled" our makeshift porno, our conversation (needless to say, the last) went like this:

Him: Aim for my back this time.

Me: Yup.

All I wanted was to get across and I ended up reaching a new level of social entanglement, eighth base maybe? I basically ran around the field twice.

Giving the lunch line fiasco, my misfortune never seems to surprise me.

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This post is from my Junior year of high school (My Glory Days). This old content will be labelled as Fetus Viviane for a glimpse into my 17 year old self.